Between Miracle and Matter: My Healing Journey With Reiki

I have walked myself through fire these last three years, again, again, and again.

When I look back, I hardly recognize the woman I was—living in a body that felt more like a battlefield than a home.

Chronic illness and chronic pain ruled my days. At least once or twice each week, (sometimes up to five times weekly), I would lose myself completely to suffering, unable to function, unable to meet life the way I longed to.

Now, the landscape is different. My pain is still here, but it no longer roars with the same intensity. It comes only as a whisper, perhaps a day or two each month. This shift feels both like a miracle and the result of deep, intentional devotion.

Because so much of my pain was never just physical. It was woven from old beliefs, unconscious patterns, and programming that had rooted themselves in my body. Stories that were not mine, yet lived inside me, manifesting as suffering.

Breath by breath, I began to unravel them.

And Reiki was one of the gentlest, yet most powerful medicines that carried me through.

The Reality of Being Human

Still, the truth remains: I am human. I have not ascended beyond flesh.

Endometriosis has been one of my fiercest teachers. For years, it consumed me, shaping my days, my choices, my very sense of self. Today, its voice has softened, but it has not disappeared. It continues to remind me of my humanness, my perceived limits, and the paradox of healing—that it can be both profound and imperfect at once.

This is the lesson my body continues to teach me: healing does not mean the absence of pain, nor the attainment of perfection. Healing is learning to live fully, even with what remains.

And that is where Reiki meets me, again and again, and again.

Reiki as Medicine

Reiki did not erase my endometriosis. It did not lift me out of my humanness. What it gave me was something subtler and, in many ways, more sacred:

Space.

Softness.

Alignment.

Through Reiki, I was able to breathe deeper, to soften the tight places my body had been holding for years. I began to sense where old energy, old grief, and old patterns were still alive in me—and then, to gently release them.

It is not about transcending life, but about inhabiting it differently. Reiki reminds me that healing is not some faraway destination, but a returning to balance, again and again.

It is this current, this living energy, that carried me back to myself when I felt lost. It is why I now offer this work to others. Because I know what it means to live in the thick of pain, and I know what it means to feel that pain soften, even just enough to remember there is another way.

Photograph of Flower with Reiki Healing Orb, Photographed by: Jen Maloney

Between Miracle and Matter

The truth is, healing will always be both.

It will always live between miracle and matter.

Miracle, in the ways our bodies and spirits can transform.

Matter, in the ways our humanness continues to ground us, tether us, humble us.

Reiki does not ask us to abandon either. It teaches us to walk with both—spirit and flesh,

ease and ache, alignment and imperfection.

And perhaps that is the deepest healing of all: not to transcend, but to live with grace, presence, and reverence for this in-between place.

This is where I now meet others, through Reiki, through presence, through the invitation to soften what has been hard and breathe into what is possible.

If you feel called to step into this space, to explore what Reiki might open for you, I welcome you into my practice. Together, we do not seek perfection. We seek presence. We seek balance. We seek a way of being that honours both the miracle and the matter.

With Divine Humanness,

Flower

🌿 If this speaks to you, you can learn more about my Reiki offerings via email to bendwithaflower@outlook.com or you can contact me directly on FB & IG: Bend With a Flower. I look forward to sharing the magic of Reiki with you!